The Hole

Yes, I know, this post should be an HR post since I just did a personal post but I had some things I needed to say and where else should I say them then my blog?!?! Ah…freedom of speech is a grand thing!

This weekend was the 3 month anniversary of my father’s death and next weekend would be his birthday so as you can imagine, this is a really tough week. It seems that every where I turn these last few days, death is all around me. I was blessed this weekend to spend some time with some amazing friends who have helped me through this situation. They turned on the tv in our rental one evening and the movie Gran Torino was on. If you haven’t seen the movie, it ends in a funeral. I had to leave the room as the tears started to flow.

Tonight I had a meeting, came home and flipped on the tv for some background noise while I worked and once again the show Glee was on and of course death was the topic this week. I did not see the entire episode but I think the sister of Sue Sylvester died. Sue is the “villain” in this show. (Yes of course I love her snarkiness.) What is it about music that touches us so and seems to be an important part of all major things in our lives; weddings, funerals, graduations? Sue deals with the death in much the same way I do…snotty, snarky comments and really not dealing with it at all. I didn’t see the ending but I can only hope that she came to grips with her sister’s death.

Am I the only one who feels like there is a hole in my life now where my dad used to be? The smell of him, his sarcasm (yes I come by it honestly,) his great advice, but only when asked for, and seeing the love he had for my mom in his eyes. How do you fill the hole? When does it get easier? 3 months and now I see death everywhere?

I am so blessed in my life to have family and friends who are here for me, but what about the people who do not have anyone? How do they get through things like this? Remember to be kinder then necessary. You never know what someone is going through in their life. It probably doesn’t help that I am turning 40 this year in addition to all of this. 🙂  I think that this has all given me a new outlook on life.

Life is short my friends. Do things you want to do. Don’t procrastinate. Figure out what you need to be happy every day and make it happen. If something bad happens, be angry; be sad; be hurt; but then stand up, dust yourself off and go on fighting.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~ Confucius

Miss and love you always daddy!